Stop whatever you are doing. This is really important. Forget the Sunday lunch, turn off the Friends repeats and pay careful and close attention to the following information.
Caught Offside have reported an ‘exclusive’ suggesting that Arsenal are going to make a move for Shakhtar’s Douglas Costa. They call it a surprise move and that it is. It’s such a surprise move in fact that no one knows anything about it – including Arsenal.
My actual guess is that this story was created using the highly methodical approach of writing a column of players and a column of clubs on a piece of paper, and then whilst blindfolded drawing a line between the two columns. Douglas Costa and Arsenal were the results, and then the writer decided to throw in a bit of Cazorla leaving to give the story a bit of context (despite him saying that he wants to stay and Atletico Madrid being close to signing Griezmann).
And saying ‘Caught Offside understands’ implies that Caught Offside have a wide array of people feeding them information from clubs around the world and that they have access to information that others don’t. My current theory however is that their primary source of information comes from a sock puppet.
CONFIRMED: Arsenal sign Douglas Costa
(that’ll be a very apologetic article from me!)
Rant over. Have a good Sunday!